ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
