I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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