I am puke
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
