if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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