Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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