I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
