I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
