hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
