i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
