Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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