Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We left the knife in your bed.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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