this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my being single is dangerous.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
