Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
