Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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