You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
