So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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