I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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