So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Vodka?
Forever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
