Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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