i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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