Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
