Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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