I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize