Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize