Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
