after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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