There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You are a genius and a whore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize