i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
