there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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