how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
