Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
