I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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