Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
