i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
