I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
