Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
