so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My feet surprised me
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