I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
