I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
