So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
