he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I look better un-naked...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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