The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize