We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
