If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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