Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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