okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize