I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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