they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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