She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
