that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
