Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
