he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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