At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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