i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
