Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
not ubering you a puppy
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
