Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Actions speak louder than pants.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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