All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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