can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
