I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
